Another One Bites The Dust

Another year has come and come and gone. This year had been exceptionally bad I must say. 30 hasn't been so good so far. I would love to say that 30 has been a smashing success but it really hasn't. This year might have been the worst so far. It got off a promising start because last December 26th, my husband finally entered the US with his green card and came for good. No more traveling back and forth and waiting by the mailbox waiting for a visa. Gotta love post 9/11 immigration. What a nightmare process that was. Not to mention the fact that I was 5 months pregnant and on total bed rest and living with my dad! So my new husband moves to a new country with a new culture and a new everything and gets an instant family. What he really got was an insanely hormonal pregnant wife who had gained like 50 pounds at that point and he was moving into his in-laws house with my dad, my step-mom who doesn't speak English, and my 93 year-old grandmother who is nuts and wets her pants all day when she decides to actually wear her pants, oh and two dogs. So, my poor husband got a really bad deal. Did I mention that I had the worst pregnancy in history? I had a super high risk pregnancy that included doctor visits 3 times a week where we were on constant baby watch and we were running to the hospital at all hours of the night for the remainder of my pregnancy. We were also totally broke and I was on disability, and he couldn't work because we had to wait for his stupid green card. The whole thing was a disaster.


My pregnancy was one big scare. My doctors tried to get me to abort at 15 weeks and said that she would be retarded but once I could feel her in there I couldn't do it. Don't get me wrong, I am no martyr and I had them do all the tests, and no none of the tests came back positive so I just kept her in there incubating. I figured that if she wasn't going to make it, she wouldn't. I developed all sorts of problems like placenta previa and gestational diabetes and eventually had to have amniocentesis done to make sure her lungs were developed enough because she was getting too big in there. Her lungs were fine which turned out good because the amnio caused me to go into labor anyway, the day of my scheduled c-section, an entire month early.


So, my daughter was born. She did have some trouble at first with her blood sugar and spent some time in the NICU but really just a few days. I got her home for about three days before I had some issues. I woke up and my sheets were covered with smelly goo and my c-section incision was infected which landed me in the hospital for 3 weeks without my daughter. So, after the worst pregnancy ever and 10 months of bed rest and I now had to fight a massive infection. They thought it was a staph infection (which my own mother died of, which I will save for another time, eery) but it was just a bacterial weird infection. My daughter couldn't come see me because hospitals are no place for babies so there I was a new mom with no baby. It sucked. I was all alone and my poor husband was all alone with a newborn and home, clueless. He did a great job. He was a natural. My tip for choosing a husband, is choose wisely. Choose someone who is nice to animals and is nurturing. You need someone who will step up when the shit hits the fan at a time like this. My husband totally stepped up. My dad stayed with me all day at the hospital because I am his kid and my husband stayed home with his kid. That was the beginning of the end because before this, the three of us (my dad, husband, and I) all got along but once my daughter was born, things all kind of fell apart. My dad can't seem to grasp the whole sharing of me thing. Anyway, I got better and went home and we tried to start our lives together but it was a mess. Eventually the money ran out and we needed help and there was none. My dad surprisingly wasn't interested in being a grandparent and sucked at it. It was a shock to us. We had a major falling out and moved out. It was the best decision we could have made because we needed to be a family of our own.


We moved to the ghetto, I went back out there to the good old job market and miraculously got a temp job that turned out to be OK. My husband stays home with the baby and picks up freelance translator work when he can and takes care of everything else. We are broke but we are doing it on our own. This is by no means the most ideal situation but it is working for us and we are making it. This year was the year I turned 30 and it was a year of transitions. There was a new husband, new baby, moving back into dad's house, disability, unemployment, going broke, new fat body, new bad health, new job, and the new transition of things slowly getting better. It has been a LONG year and I can't wait to see what the next year brings. I have a lot of weight to lose. I have lost only like 20 pounds and would like to lose another 100 pounds or so and get rid of all these health problems that this pregnancy has caused like diabetes. I hope to get out of this financial shit hole that I am in. I hope to be a better wife and to make more time to appreciate how great my husband is. I hope to take more time to stop and just breathe my daughter in more. Man, the time is going so fast. She is growing so fast and is already 9 months old.


So, no resolutions this year. I am just going to to keep on moving in this direction and keep doing what I am doing. Hopefully, it will get me towards my goal. My goals in life aren't huge. I would like to own a house one day again, and I would like my daughter to be able to go to meet her grandparents abroad and be able to go and visit them once a year. That's it. For now those are my big dreams.

Why blog?

Good question. I figured it was time to blog because I am 30 and a half now and it's not like I have anything to say but maybe I can help someone else out there in the atmosphere struggling like myself with their existence. Let me be honest here, 30 sucks. I am a working mother with a 9 month old baby. I have a stay at home husband who takes care of her all day. I have a job that I pretty much hate but it pays the bills. It's a new job. I am actually still considered a temp. They actually can't hire me officially until January 12th because they don't want to pay the agency fee so I have to wait until I have been here for three months. So I didn't get the Christmas bonus of $100 cash and I didn't get the $25 gift card for a stupid free turkey at the grocery store which really I actually could have used. I am an executive assistant at this company that makes what I will call widgets. I don't particularly love this job but I am lucky to have this job. After I illegally got laid off my last job after my daughter was born I was seriously about to be homeless so I am lucky to have this job and am making more money at this job anyway and am working half the hours and this job is way easier. I am pretty much invisible here. They don't know that I actually used to be cute. They don't know that I used to wear contacts and have blond highlights and only weigh...well less. Now they see this girl with badly dyed brown hair (Feria #45, didn't turn out so well), glasses and 70 extra pounds. I don't give a shit, I kind of feel bad for my super hot husband. He has only made one comment once but it was a real zinger. Are you ready for it? He said he was kind of turned off by me because my giant fat roll got in the way!! I shit you not, he actually said that. Yeah, things have been a little rocky ever since and my daughter is 9 months old but you know what? This is what 30 looks like. For reals.